Wedding!!!

Our wedding was Saturday, September 20, 2008. In the days right before the wedding the arguing and tension cleared up and gave way to excitement and anticipation. I don't want to forget anything.... yet I don't know what to write.

My maid-of-honor Shae and I stayed up all night the night before the wedding doing last-minute stuff. We were silly sleepy, and got about two hours sleep. We made pretty, pretty flowers that could not have been better if we had spent thousands at the florist. I wasn't sleepy the day of the wedding, and it surely must have been adrenaline.

I loved my hair. It took forever, and wasn't what I had originally wanted but it was great. It was big, like Hairspray big. I stumbled across these vintage bobby pins with black bows on them the day before the wedding, and they held back my pin curls. My bridesmaids were really helpful and really sweet. They answered my phone, painted my toenails, put on my makeup, helped me go to the bathroom, put on my bra, and did just about everything that I needed or wanted.

The photographer was intimidated by Janae takin pictures, and kinda gave up. Which I kinda find funny.

When we arrived at the venue, my dad opened the door for me and my mom, and she didn't recognize him! He got teary and told me I was pretty, which made me cry the first time of the day. Everyone ate Taco Bell tacos before the wedding b/c they were all hungry. Raven and Mia chased each other in the hallway until they were both sweaty. Clay got me a wish box that plays a song. We both wrote wishes last night.

He was nervous, I could tell as I was peeking out of the froyer. Mia didn't throw down an flowers, she just ran to her Daddy who was a groomsman. Raven ran out of flowers before she reached the end. My Daddy made me cry again when he gave me away. My handkerchief was in my bra. My hands were shakey, really shakey. Clay kept asking me if I was okay. My feet hurt because I insisted on wearing some really high polka dot heels during the ceremony. Afterwards I wore polka dotted Converse. My Daddy danced with me until we both got tired half way throught he song. My mom laughed at him for wanting a fast song.

Big emotional moments were talking with the pastor and his family that I were at my church when I was a little girl. I loved them so much, and even though I haven't seen them in forever, I think about them all the time. Their sons are like little brothers to me. I still have this gum wrapper in my Bible that the pastor's wife LaDonna wrote me a note on when i was like 8 or 9. She taught me how to study the Bible, and to hide it in my heart. <3

Next one was my Brooke. The photographer was trying to corrall us all and take family pictures when I saw her. I just walked off and found her and cryed and cryed and cryed. I love her so much. Like seriously next to my husband, she is the most imortant person in the world to me and always will be. She kept saying please don't, please don't, please don't cry. But I bought out the ugly cry, and let go. I really love her with all my heart. I'm so glad she was there. It helped make my day.

Afer we left the wedding, Janae took pictures of us downtown, and they have turned ot amazing so far. I don't know what it is about those smelly gross bridges that look so cute in pictures, but they work!

Here are a few wedding pics:

Shad tying Clint's tie

My groom with my wedding ring on his pinky

Clay with two of his groomsmen

Clay with all his groomsmen- Justin looks the most into this pic. He is workin it.

My Daddy made these signs for me, and I painted them. You can see the guys horsing around in the background.

Suprise, suprise!!!

So last night was another one of those nights..... I stayed up all night studying. I drank two pots of coffee, and then threw up. *Note to self- If you are gonna drink that much coffee to stay awake, then eat something to prevent throwing up coffee:) The good news is that I feel amazingly confident for my test. It is over 7 chapters, all of which I have thouroughly studied. I have taken online practice tests over and over until I can asily get 100's on all of them , and rationalize the wrong answers as well. I think I'm ready. Thank you Lord!

Rocky Road, but not the ice cream

Again tonight I find myself wanting the wedding to be over. Clay and I are fighting like crazy over stupid stuff.

I had just talked with the girl that is gonna do my hair for the wedding. She and I had discussed plans, and the plan was that she is going to meet us at the place we are getting ready at 9:00am, and since we have to be at the venue at noon, that only leaves us 3 hours for hair and makeup. Obviously my hair is the first priority, and then my mom's, and then the three bridesmaids. Well as soon as I get off the phone with her. Clay calls his mom, and tells her that she should come over there too. Seriously! She probably isn't gonna have time to even do the bridesmaids hair, and Clay is sending in more people.

I wasn't do much mad at what he did, but just mad that he keeps doing stuff without asking me. I hope this isn't a forecast into our marriage....

I'm done wih it all.

I'm done with it. All of it. I'm tired of - wedding. I'm tired of my house being messy, and my dining room being covered in wedding crap. I'm tired of having to call my mom every few days for more money to pay for all the crap. I'm tired of my husband to be adding more people that I don't know or care about to our already overflowing guest list. I'm tired of his friends and co-workers thinking that they can bring 3 extra people with them. I'm tired of inviting everyone that works for his freaking company.

It's not what I wanted. I wanted to elope. That would have been special to me. It would have been just me and just him, and all the other stuff wouldn't be there.. Shad and Janae even said they would go with us to witnesses. Now I have a whole crowded room of people coming that I don't know or care about, and I want to pull my hair out. I'm not getting the intimate romantic wedding that I really want. It's making us fight.

And I'm sick. i have a super bad cold, and our wedding is 6 days away. Joy.

Ugghh!

No sleep. No seriously... none. I am admittedly behind in my classes. I would probably have to read 20 chapters collectively to be caught up where I should be. I have 3 assignments due tomorrow, and my first test of nursing school. I have done the assignments, and all I have left is to study. It's 2:30, which means that I literally will not go to sleep tonight. And tomorrow is my long day. Class from 8-5:30. And then a class at my church from 6-8:30.

Tear.

At least I'm getting caught up with my DVR while I am studying. Maybe I should make a pot of coffee....

My disorganization is getting the best of me as well. I didn't realize that I had so much to do today b/c I hadn't read the syllabus or written it down. Having a planner doesn't really help if I don't write my assignments in it! I started out proud of myself this morning because I actually made it to class on time, I was 15 minutes early to be exact. I walk into class, and Allie the girl that sits next to me said, "Did you go take the drug test?" Great.... We were suppossed to be at school at 8am to take a drug test. So I had to literally run to another building, hoping the whole time that I would be able to squeeze out enough pee to fill the cup. Doing the drug test made me 20 minutes late for my first class. Usual. I'm mad at myself right now.

My girl

I have a Brooke!

Brooke was/is my very best friend in the whole wide world. We met each other at a difficult time in my life. I had just suffered my first broken heart, I was in a town I didn't know, and I was all alone. I was depressed and near suicidal. She was just my lab partner, but she stepped up and took care of me. She brought me food, she made me shower, she tried to make me go to class. In the process, she became my best friend. She was my lifeline, she helped me decorate my first house, we played at the park on our lunch break, we got our nails done and tanned together, we got to know each others families, and we took the same classes.

And then last summer..... we broke up. She was in Maryland on an internship, and I was back here in Oklahoma. It was silly and stupid. I made her tell me what she thought about the guy I happened to be with at the time. She told me what she thought. I cried, and hung up the phone, and that was that. My best friend and I broke up over something so ridiculously stupid.

Over the past 4 months or so we have started communication again. Myspace messages, a mailed wedding invitation, texting.... and now I have my best friend back. I loved her the whole time, and I still claimed her as mine, but now it seems right again. Yesterday changed everything and now the hole where my right arm should be is filled once again.

And although she won't be in my wedding as I had envisioned all those years ago, she will be there with me in the audience, and I couldn't be happier.